We the People of Onlinebeercoolers.com (“OBC”), in order to form a more perfect Beer Koozie Company, establish custom koozies, insure domestic greatness, provide for the common defense of the party, promote the general Welfare of beer consumption, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Koozie Constitution for the United States of America and Personalized Koozies for all.
Four Score and seven years ago, our forefathers gave us the right to drink beer; but were unfortunately unable to guarantee coldness to the last drop. In order to form a more perfect union OBC has gone where no man has gone before, offering a cold beer guarantee. OBC has developed, promoted and provided the personalized beer koozie to millions of fans around the world in order to insure this inalienable right of freshness and “beer chill” to the last drop.
This guarantee may seem like one small step for man; but it is one giant leap for mankind. No other Beer Koozie Company, anywhere, anytime, in the history of mankind has offered such a guarantee, and to our constituents we do not take this guarantee lightly.
1. Whether you call the product a Koozie, Koozy, Coozie, Cooler, or a Hugger – we at the OBC will treat you all with dignity, respect and honor. We do not believe any American is greater than the next for their choice of words – but rather cold beer is too important of a right and must be protected regardless of your gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, race, religion or color – You are all family to the OBC!
2. We will strive harder than any company, anywhere, regardless of what product it sells, to treat you as if you are Royalty. Cold beer, Custom Koozies, and great customer service are not a right for just William and Kate, Queen Elizabeth and Princess Diana, it is a right for all. We at the OBC treat everyone as if they are family.
3. We will offer the tools of greatness, not just Koozies. A great party, a solid marketing effort, and an unforgettable wedding don’t just “happen” – it takes hard work, perseverance, and a strong desire to be great. We don’t just sell Beer Koozies, promotional koozies, and leave our customers out in the cold to figure out the rest – we work hand in hand, creating the perfect logo, idea, concept, slogan to be printed on their Custom Koozies in order assist the client in being the coordinator they are meant to be!
4. Finally, some say, “money talks and….”. We imagine you know the rest. So OBC puts our money where our mouth is. If our clients at any moment in time are not satisfied with customer service, the quality of our beer koozies, the speed of response, or have any complaint whatsoever – the OBC will refund your money – no questions asked.
As a member of the OBC, we sign pledges to protect cold beer, our Koozie Constitution, and our customer’s rights. Come see for yourself the difference between good and great… welcome to the OBC!!!